For the very first time I have closed myself in this four walls I made up just for me. I've always been that kind of person who shares everything or almost everything with her trusted ones. But not this time. Please, don't take it the wrong way, I still trust them and appreciate all they do for me. But this time I don't want to talk about my life, don't want to open my heart, don't want any kind of judgement about the way I am now or how I've been acting.
We all make mistakes, we all have our moments to disappear from the face of Earth without any explanation.Well, at least, I am explaining isn't it?
If any of you ask me if I'm ok, how is going my life, if there are any news, I will just say: "Yeah I'm ok, life's been normal and don't have any news. What about you?" But no, I don't really know how I am, my life is completely out of control, weird, strange, insane, peaceless, sometimes hurtful, sometimes healing and always, always changing. I just don't wanna talk about it beacuse it forces me to think about it, and I don't wanna think about anything. Just want to live the "today".
I don't expect you to understand this, I just hope you don't get mad at me when I don't answer your messages or pick your calls. Is not that I'm ignoring you, that I don't care about you anymore. I just need a little time away from everything. You must be thinking "what the hell is that behaviour?! that attitude!". That I'm acting like a rebel and lonely soul around here, angry with the world and with herself. Nothing like that.
It's just... For the first time I want to be invisible. For now, I have to fight alone, struggling for what's good for me. Even if you think it's not - that is the only thing I really don't care if you agree. One of these days, I'll come back, I can promise you that. And you, you will notice.
And I really hope you can forgive me.